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Duncan's Litterbox
Madonna: The All-American Piece of Pie

"American Pie." It is a classic in its own right, and the Don McLean classic has become ingrained into our American culture. My question is this: who the hell decided that it was Madonna's place to try to replace that culture with her own version. There are some things you don't mess with, and "American Pie" is one of them.

Hell, to be quite frank about it, it isn't even "'American' Pie" anymore. First off, the only part "American" about the whole thing is Madonna, and are we sure that we as Americans want to have her representing the American dream? The same woman who did the Truth or Dare Tour, the same woman who wrote that famous book Sex.

Let's talk about the song itself, shall we? First off, the musical style does not fit it. Instead of the rock sound we have all grown to love, Madonna has once again enlisted William Orbit to create the music. He is the one responsible for Madonna's new dance sound we were introduced to with her Ray of Light album. So now instead of the classic American rock, we are hit with blips and bleeps and other electronic samples - all by a person from the UK. (Not that there is anything wrong with being from the UK, problem is that it is "American Pie.")

My other big complaint about the music is the fact that Madonna has massacred the song lyrically as well. She has cut out several verses, shortening the song and thereby making it more "radio friendly." The song doesn't carry the same meaning any longer. She rearranged the lyrics a bit as well, changing it so she repeats "I started singing" over and over and over and over.

This cover is just bad and it should never have been made.

The other complaint is about the video itself. Madonna has succeeded in taking an American classic and changing it into what looks almost like a cheap porn at times. The film quality looks more like an amateur porn than anything else. And let's not forget Madonna's outfit. She is wearing her same old "sexy" style outfit: tight shirt, no bra, tight pants (and this time she is not even wearing underwear, or so it should seem since we see her ass here and there as she pulls her pants back up again and again).

All in all, this is probably one of the worst covers I have ever heard.

The only thing that would piss me off even more would be if Kid Rock would cover "What's New Pussycat?" If he did, I would bite him.

What do you think of Madonna's version of "American Pie?"